There's a shower scene earlier on which, given that her previous film To The Limit employed similar moments, implies that Anna Nicole only truly finds immersing herself with hot water (and 80 something wheelchair bound billionaires) a turn on. To balance the fatal flaw of her acting inability, Anna Nicole is placed on much safer ground in a serious of utterly gratuitous sex scenes which prove to be the only reason to watch - and certainly the fifteen/sixteen year old me agreed. There, bet you didn't expect a William Morris quote in a review of a softcore straight to video action flick now did you? This alone marks the only disagreement I could possibly have with William Morris who said "Nothing useless can be truly beautiful" She is useless, but she is also beautiful.
Her globes may be impressive, but she'll never have succeeded at the Golden Globes with this performance.
Needless to say, Anna Nicole Smith is no one's idea of an action hero(ine) and this isn't helped by the fact that she clearly cannot act and was painfully out of her depth and under the influence throughout this shoot, as this compilation of outtakes tragically proves. Before you can say twin towers, they arrive at Zitex and proceed to dole out bloody carnage, taking several hostages whilst Fairfax reveals his plan which consists of interlocking four electronic devices that will somehow "shift the balance of power in the world." It's a mark of Skyscraper's script and the film overall that quite how this will be achieved is never ever explained.Ĭold blooded murder, hostages and a plot to take over the world you say? Well, who you gonna call.īruce Willis was busy/too expensive/bald. Interestingly, Fairfax's goons all seem to be well oiled muscle bound and scantily dressed for reasons that would surely not adhere themselves to international terrorism but would work out pretty well if the female audience want something to whack off to whilst their fellas are salivating over Anna Nicole. Hey maybe they settled on 86 floors to commemorate the age Anna's husband was when they first met, wouldn't that have been neat? One of her clients turns out to be a ruthless African terrorist called Fairfax (Charles M Huber, who seems to be genuinely amused by how appalling the material he is working on is) who routinely quotes Shakespeare to show the audience that he is a clever, intelligent and educated man and therefore - to the average American Joe's eyes, remember think McClane v Gruber here - not to be trusted though check out the unintentionally hilarious moment which shows Anna Nicole correctly guessing one quote as belonging to Henry IV!Ĭarrie has inadvertently taken him and his goons to the 86 floors of the Zitex building, the titular skyscraper. Anna Nicole plays Carrie Wink, a beautiful and voluptuous helicopter pilot whose job it is to charter high level clients across LA. The actual plot, such as it is, beggars belief. Not to be outdone, in the year Pammy brought out Barb Wire, Anna Nicole returned to the action genre with Skyscraper which could perhaps best be described as the Lidl's own brand of Die Hard and could truthfully be described as a film that *ahem* 'helped' me through my teen years. It seemed everyone wanted to see a pair of tits running around with guns back in the mid 90s. Anna Nicole had beaten her to it by a year with her starring role in action 'thriller' To The Limit. Anderson, busting out from Baywatch, reached the big screen in 1996's Barb Wire. A couple of years back when I watched and reviewed several 'classic' 1970s British sexploitation movies I used to rate them in two distinctive ways - Film Rating and Sexploitation Film Rating - because it's almost impossible to rate this genre of film making using the same system one would rate a 'real' film, such as Citizen Kane say.īut you know what, I'd still rather watch this than Gambitīack in the 1990s, the battle of the boobs existed between Pamela Anderson and Anna Nicole Smith.
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